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I really love the aesthetic of imperfect handwriting drawn in the background of sites.
"Nothing matters more than the people you do the things that you do with."
"the type of people we like, romantically, are losers." "it's like a humbleness, combined with being a bit awkward, and silly. you know what i mean?" "you're a winner."
"i feel like body 'positivity' is like not a scale but a spiral"
"i kind of believe most ppl that don't have an insane physical disability can be hot conventionally to ppl that aren't bigoted"
"and idk about you but i think i would not be the well rounded person i would like to be if i only had soc-rat-ica friends"
"you have such a gay accent"
On materialism: "money spent on feeding friends isn't money spent at all"
- Born Oct 19th, 2005 (turning 20)
- Lives at Merton College, Oxford
- Has a younger brother
- Red-green color blind
- "would happily go on a date with most people"
- Her type: "tall, wasian, a girl in spirit, all caps typing, long hair but also not long hair, smarter than her but also thinks Malaika is smarter"

dear malaika,

look at that!

so you are, today, 20.

i want to wish you the happiest of birthdays, and the loveliest of years — and one filled with more drama and laughter and feeling and hope and cheer and cry. i hope you spend today with the people you love. as i've said to you before.

thank you for being a conversation person, to whom i can speak to hours, a person who i don't need to filter myself around, who i can learn from and and and...

one of my favorite memories was the all-nighter that we pulled in paris speaking (as most of our relationship has been) online(!) about art and everything else. what you didn't see, what i was too embarrassed to admit, was that my wifi was so so dodgy, and it had broken. it was so sad, and i had ventured onto the paris street at 4am, off to the nearest bakery, sometime, to go find a connection so that we could continue our conversation.

it is interesting. when we first met (well apart from duncan and i rushing into the first lecture, panting from the fact we were a bit late, you sitting in the middle of a classroom, watching david intently, not sparing us a second glance, after that, after the "honk if you're letting the soft animal of your body love what it loves" and that conversation about love and romance -- in which you confessed you didn't believe in it), i distinctly had the impression that you felt older than me. but perhaps now i feel more similar. as i think you observed, maybe it is something to do with the life-stages. i guess i was but a mere first-year, and now i am but a mere college drop out.

i don't think my extra 16 days on this god-given earth has given me any particular wisdom. and i wondered what i could write to you, given that perhaps i've given that still beautiful black cat profile picture most of my every thought most of my every day for the past couple months. you can actually see it.

obsidian has this beautiful feature where you can see a graph of all the things that have touched the various parts of your notes. this is your node.

instead, i guess i am a big fan of the format of the date-my-friend-doc, and you are a big fan of the website. maybe today's a good occasion to bring the two passions together. i'll try my hand at this design thing. don't judge me too harshly.

it was great fun scribbling a few bullet points of yours. but perhaps the author of that date-my-friend doc may be the person who was ultimately convinced...

i guess perhaps today is as good an occasion as any to drag it up, clean it out, update it:

  1. there is a certain type of brit that lives america (among whom perhaps i guilty count myself a part), whose perhaps defined by a distinct ambition, a lack of flair, a hedonism. why else would you choose the californian sunfootnote: a playful jab malaika is the opposite. malaika has the proper sense of intellectualism and self-effacement and sensibilities, without the aristocratic pretention or lack of self-esteem or conviction. she has the worldiness that comes along with the third-culture kid, a breath of experience, an openness of mind. oh how refreshing. oh, and also, she's got an american's bluntness and a brit's humor — if she's nice to you, she probably doesn't like you. run away.
  1. unafraid to party and to put herself out there and to be emotional and to explore and to admit to her flaws and to joke and to be unfiltered, to say what's on her mind. i predict you'll never have to second guess what she is thinking, or whether she is second guessing herself — that would be a relief indeed.
  2. she's committed to craft, but unpretenious in her taste (except for apple juice?), generous in her community building and in creating a space. some would say she cares too much, but i would never say that. she has hobbies! what a wild concept. she can potnot the drugs, you filthy californian — the beautiful art form with clay, and personal trainwhich i desperately need, and photograph. what more could you want. she described herself as a materialist recently, which i totally don't believe — you should interpret this as meaning she understands quality and design. which she does.
  1. oh yes, did i mention, you'll get a group of delightful friends thrown in there for free – and a community too, at least one of which owes its creation and tending much to malaika herself.
  2. there is, so i hear, a "malaika hairstyle." iconic hair. iconic glasses. she's fashionable.
  3. her voice. not the silky smooth of a new englander, but deep and warm, and one that you can listen to for hours. one i have listened to for hours, and would take the 2 hour train ride up north, or 15 hour plane ride to do so. and a beautiful, full laugh.
  4. extraordinarily reflective, and open.
  5. it's been on my bucket list for ages to try her cooking. i'll keep this one posted.
  6. much more cultured and "modern" than I could ever be — to quote a good friend of us both, a serious person in an unserious dress (and that's the best way to be).
  7. she's ruthlessly pragmatic. so, i expect the ruthless pragmatist in you would enjoy, i'll leave this here, on this domain. perhaps to exist as a little domain for me to say what i love and admire about you, or perhaps, you know, if this oxford date doesn't work out, for you to use when you're courting someone else. here's a little button, that'll convert this domain into a publishable state

20 songs for 20